Life before Death

I don't care, I have to do this.

I don't care what you think about me after reading this. I have come to the point in this grieving process, where I could careless about what others think about anything. This is my life, my story, my pain, and my journey. If you feel that you need to add you opinion on my life, then I hope this means yours is perfect. If yours is not perfect, then what gives you the right to tell me about mine.

From the day I delivered Wyatt and heard the words from the nurses mouth, I was a little rattled by the whole thing. I remember my nurse, Lelia saying to me that "you will receive a Grabose Family birth certificate, as Pennsylvania doesn't honor birth certificates for babys like yours." It was her job, she needed to advise me of that. I hold no grudge to her.

I do however, hold a grudge to the state, the congressman, the senators, and even the president. What right do they have to decline a law that say parents should receive birth certificates if their child was born sleeping. The parents, in some states, get death certificates. I was one of those parents.

Please explain to me how a state can issue a death certificate for a child who was never born, according to the state. Please explain to me how a mother can feel a child move and kick in the womb and listen to his heart beat on countless echocardiograms, but yet the child isn't alive?

This country amazes me. We can spend money to research life on other planets but we can't issue a birth certificate to a child that was moving In Utero. We can send money to other countries to help rebuild them, and I am not saying I don't agree with this, but we can't spend money to help grieving parents by providing them with a birth certificate. We can hand out death certificates like they are candy, but we can't provide a birth certificate prior to a death certificate. No, because in the eyes of congress, senate, and the president, a birth certificate is something you have to be able to breathe for.

Most states will not issue a birth certificate because a birth certificate is for a "live" birth. So then my argument would be, call it something else. It just doesn't make sense, how can one have a death certificate but not have something showing the lived first. Maybe not a "live" birth certificate, but what about a "Hey people, I lived for ____ weeks/months. I had blood flowing through my veins, my heart was beating, and I was growing. I was able to move and kick. I liked certain foods and flavors. I was a living person" certificate.

I found an organization tonight from a friend on FB. The organization is called MISS Foundation. Another BLM blogged about this group tonight also. We both discovered it at the same time. Please take the time to view this video. It means a lot to me, a lot!



Additionally, I have located the founder of the foundation. Her name is Dr. Joanne Cacciatore. She is a wonderful person. I found her blog and read a few posts, she is amazing. If you are interested in her blog, click HERE.

Although some may think that a birth certificate is just a piece of paper, to me it means that the world recognizes that my son was alive. I am sick and tired of people telling me things like "they aren't alive until they come out", "what you delivered was just a shell", and "he really never lived". Imagine being told that. His body is the only thing I was able to hold after carrying him for 7 months, after going through 26 months to create him, after using up all of our IVF coverage and not getting another embryo, and after happiness came crashing down and shattered every single one of our dreams.

Everyone should be entitled to a certificate stating they were alive at some point, before receiving a death certificate. Life before death, right?