A savior was born.
The song and now a card.... They have been instant reminds of you this holiday season. You were Mommy and Daddy's Savior. Because of you so many things were realized and even more changed. Oh, how we wish that you were still with us. We wish that this was not the way. But my child, we will see you in Heaven and we can't wait for that day!
A family portrait, but not of our family.
Mommy and Daddy received a card in the mail today and this was the photo on the front. It immediately brought tears to Mommy's eyes. You were supposed to be here with us this year for Christmas. This should be what our family looks like today, but it isn't. Instead, you are not with us, not physically.
Mommy and Daddy miss you so very much.
A holiday picture just for you.
A beautiful Christmas picture came in the mail today, it was made just for you. It is beautiful and will go into your scrapbook, as soon as Mommy can develop enough strength to start it.
It has been one year since the day we found out we were pregnant with you. It is also your uncle's birthday. Last year, he was overseas which made finding out about your pregnancy on his birthday so exciting. This year, we celebrate the short life you spent with us and the memories our family with hold onto forever. It snowed today, the first snowfall this season, Mommy thought it was a sign from you. Also, while Daddy was fixing the dryer he found a beautiful bushy feather way down inside the wiring. He couldn't believe it and knew it was your sign to him.
Keep sending them Wyatt, we see them and we know.
Ready for the holidays.
We wanted to do something special for you, so we decided to decorate your ashes. Mommy didn't want too much, so just a holly leaf and a Christmas ball, but it looks festive. Mommy loves having your ashes here at home, it is so nice to wake up every morning and talk to you. It is even better to say goodnight to you every evening!
We hope you enjoy your festive decor. Love you!
A family reminder.
Today Mommy and Daddy received a picture of your cousin, PJ. It was PJ's family's holiday card. The card was so precious and we enjoyed receiving it. After looking at the card several times, Mommy found herself thinking of you and how you would be that size now. You would be teething and growing.
Oh baby, how I miss you!
A very special ornament.
It arrived today. Your very special ornament. It came from Sawyer's family and Daddy and Mommy love it. It is so beautiful. We will place the ornament on the tree Christmas morning, it will be the start of a new tradition!
You are loved and thought of so very much.
A day of remembrance.
Today was the National Children Memorial Day, a day when families gather to remember their children who have gone too soon. Mommom, Nana, Grandpa, Daddy, and Mommy traveled back to the hospital where you were delivered to light candles for you. It was a very touching ceremony, one that Mommy cried through.
Mommy and Daddy miss you so so so so much!!!!
A Christmas card just for you.
It arrived in the mail today, addressed to you. When Mommy opened it, it brought tears to her eyes. Daddy looked at it and he may have been holding a few tears back also. It was your very first Christmas card and it came from Alyssa. Mommy has received several other cards but they were not addressed to you and they came from other BLMs. But this Christmas card was handmade for you and was sent from another little angel, well her mom made it appear that way.
This card will be placed in your scrapbook and treasured forever.
A snowflake for Wyatt.
A package arrived in the mail today and it was for you, little boy. A BLM made a beautiful snowflake just for you. The snowflake had your name and date of delivery on it. It is so delicate and special.
Mommy and Daddy miss you little man.
Another hospital visit.
Tonight Mommy and Daddy spent the night in the hospital. This was our first admittance back into a hospital since we lost you. Mommy was scared because of the pains she was having in her chest. It was hard to breath and it hurt. Mommy spoke to you all night asking you to watch over her and make things okay. After a CT scan, an ultrasound of Mommy's legs, and an EKG, it was determined it was nothing serious.
Thank you Wyatt for being with Mommy.
Around my neck forever.
Mommy received a gift today, a very special necklace. The necklace has a photo of our family and a monogram initial of W. This gift will be forever cherished and worn to show all of Mommy's love for you. It means so much to have your photo made into such a very special gift.
Words mean so very much.
Mommy received a card today from another BLM. The outside of the card was adorable but it was what was written on the inside that mattered so very much. It means a lot to Mommy when someone says they remember you, baby boy. To Mommy, it means you haven't been forgotten, that you had a reason, and that you are loved by so many.
Name in snow on your six month angelversary.
Mommy received a photo from a friend today, it was your name in snow. The photo couldn't have come at a more perfect time, Mommy was having a really rough day today. You see, Mommy misses you so very much. It would be so perfect if you could come home to Mommy and Daddy.
We love you.
A little tree for Mommy's little boy.
Mommy found a perfect little tree to put up in your honor. Mommy and Daddy are still putting your special ornaments on our family tree, but Mommy wanted a tree just for you also. Your tree is so very special. It is placed perfectly on the corner of the counter and the lights get turned on every night.
We love you little monkey.
Six months to the day.
Today was six months to the day of the surgery that didn't help you. Today was one of the worst days of Mommy's life, the first being six months ago. You should have been here today not in Heaven. The choice Daddy and Mommy made to put you through the surgery, we only made because we thought it would help you. Should we have known, we wouldn't have done it. Today was a horrible, awful day.
Sadly, Daddy and Mommy spent most of the day apart, as Daddy was in Uncle John's wedding.
Ornament for you.
Mommy and Daddy bought you your first ornament today. It is so perfect. We can't wait to put it on the tree this year. We love you so very very much.
A tag with your name.
Mommy loves seeing your name, it means you are being thought of. A friend made Mommy as special tag for you. It is displayed on FB. Mommy loves it. Eveytime it is seen you are thought of even more.
Love you, baby boy.
"Running with Reese and other angel babies."
Mommy was tagged in a photo a few days ago but she has been thinking about it since. Mommy is so blessed to have met so many other mommies on FB that honor their babies and others as well. The photo that was tagged is of a beautiful shirt made for "Running with Reese". But many other angels were running with Reese also, you were one of them.
Mommy is so very very grateful to Reese's mommy. Thank you so very very much!!!!
Christmas in Heaven.
Mommy received another photo today from a BLM. It was beautiful and had your name on it. Mommy really hopes that this is what Christmas in Heaven will be like for you. You deserve all of the best, you fought so very hard this year.
Mommy loves you!!!
For you during the holidays.
Mommy has been blessed with BLM friends on FB. Today this beautiful photo with your name on it was posted to Mommy's wall. Such a beautiful reminder of you today, son.
You are loved beyond belief.
Mommom gave Mommy and Daddy an ornament for you tonight over dinner. Mommom wanted to find the perfect angel ornament for you and she did just that. She found a little boy angel. It is so very precious and is so perfect.
Mommy knows you are just like this little boy, drifting on a cloud!
A Christmas tree for you!
Mommy's friend on FB sent a beautiful picture of a precious Christmas tree for you. It made Mommy tear up for many reasons. The tree is beautiful, your name is listed below it, someone miles and miles away thought of you, and you are being remembered.
This photo was taken in Australia and sent with love around the world, baby boy!!!
You are part of the face of CHD.
Oh dear Wyatt, Mommy wishes it wasn't so, but you are part of the face of Congenital Heart Defects (CHD). Mommy wishes more than anything that you were here with Daddy and Mommy. We wish that you were here to share in the holidays and spend every moment with Mommy and Daddy. Instead, you are with us in spirit and you will be our angel forever. You will be carried in our hearts as long as we live and we will see you when we come into your world.
Love you son, with all our hearts!
Happy Thanksgiving little one!
Today was the first "official" holiday since you grew your wings. Mommy and Daddy thought it was going to be so hard, but it wasn't that bad. Mommy slept most of the day and Daddy watch television. Then we went to Aunt Heather house for dinner. Shortly after dinner was over your song came on and Daddy and Mommy knew you were there.
We thought of you the whole day baby boy. We miss you very much.
A special angel ornament.
Mommy is participating in a very special ornament exchange this year for Christmas. This exchange is with other BLMs. Mommy received another BLMs name and her little girl's name. Mommy will be buying an ornament for Hope, whose mommy lives in Australia, and will be sending it out there in early December. However, Mommy already received your ornament in the exchange. The package arrived today and your ornament is beautiful! It will hang on the tree for so many years to come.
I love you angel boy.
A brother or sister.
Obviously, you decided that you were ready for a baby brother or sister. Mommy and Daddy only just saw the doctor and there was no medicine provided for this cycle. Nothing really occured on the doctors behalf this cycle, but Mommy was late. Mommy believes it was a miracle that you and God discussed.
You are truly amazing little boy, we love you with all our hearts!
Hard to focus.
Yet again, another breathtaking sunset. Mommy wondered while driving home if she was the only one to notice. It was something to marvel over, something that made it hard to stay focused. It was beautiful. Wonder what you see from your side? Mommy hopes you are able to enjoy the same beauty, if not a little bit better.
I love you little one.
A part of the family.
Mommy's biggest fear after saying goodbye to you at the hospital was that you would be forgotten by your family. Not your Mommy and Daddy but by your cousins and your aunts and uncles. But that is not the case. You are and always will be part of the family. This picture is one of the Christmas photos for that was taken for the grandparents.
As you can see, you are right in the middle of the family.
Handmade Cards from the Heart.
Mommy spent a lot of time today working on more cards for fellow BLMs for the holidays. Today, an additional 15 cards were made, which included 3 cards for mommies who have more than one angel. Seeing all the cards makes Mommy sad, but it helps Mommy understand that we are not alone, little one. You have many angel friends in Heaven and Mommy has many BLM
Name on a Christmas bulb.
Mommy has meant some wonderful people since you grew your wings. Many of them take on projects and include all of the little angels. Today, Mommy received a picture of your name on a Christmas bulb. It is beautiful and a great photo for the start of the holiday season.
Wishing Daddy a Happy Birthday.
Mommy gave Daddy a card for his birthday and she signed her name and yours. Mommy wasn't sure how this would go over with Daddy but she decided that your name needed to be included. When Daddy opened the card this evening, he read the three folds, then began to read who it was from. As he was reading who it was from, your song began to play in the background. If I die young bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song.
Amazing. We looked around and realized that it was Daddy's cell phone ringing at the exact moment. We forgot that it was his ring tone. But really?? At the same moment that Daddy read your name, the phone rang?! Though it was Nana calling to wish Daddy a happy birthday, it was like you were there, at that very moment, wishing Daddy a happy birthday and giving him a great big kiss.
Painting the sky for Mommy.
Mommy thought of you on the way home from work
You are doing a wonderful job painting, Wyatt. It is beautiful.
The card with a gift.
Today Mommy received a card from a fellow BLM. Mommy loves receiving BLM cards and to Mommy's surprise, today's card came with a gift. Enclosed neatly inside the card was a precious star ornament with your name carved on it. Such a wonderful reminder.
Mommy can't wait to put this on the Christmas tree.
The free gift.
Mommy received the photo book that she created for you today. Similac sent a free coupon for a book and Shutterfly was offering free shipping, so the book was free. Mommy would have paid anything to capture all of your memories in a hardback book, but Similac allowed for Mommy to receive it for free. It was nice to see many of your photos in one little book, nicely organized and put together with love.
I miss you son!
A lovely photo.
Tonight Mommy and Daddy went to Nana and Grandpa's house for birthdays. They were celebrating Uncle John, Uncle Sean, and Daddy's birthdays. Breah's birthday was also being celebrated. On the way there, Mommy noticed the sunset. It was gorgeous. A deep purple, which the camera didn't pick up. But after looking through the photos, this picture spoke to Mommy. It's just simple, an open sunset with a few trees in the corner. It just reminded Mommy of what your view may be in Heaven.
A Christmas ornament for you.
Mommy received a beautiful photo message today. The message came from Sawyer's mommy. It was a photo of a beautiful handmade ornament that Sawyer's mommy made just for you. It took Mommy's breath away seeing this ornament with your name on it. Mommy can't wait to receive it in the mail so Mommy and Daddy can add your ornament to the Christmas tree.
Airplanes are like shooting stars....
After you grew wings, Mommy for some reason related the song Airplanes by B.o.B to you. It really has nothing to do with you, but maybe it was the shooting star part. Anyways, whenever Mommy sees an airplane flying overhead now, she thinks of you. Today, the sky is perfect. Crystal clear with not a cloud in the sky. Upon opening the door to talk to Daddy, this is what we saw.
Mommy wished on the star just as the song says.
The Daddymade shadow box.
Daddy designed and handmade a beautiful shadow box to display all of your belongings during your service. Afterward the service, Daddy cut out a portion of the wall so the shadow box could be set inside. It has taken Mommy and Daddy five months, but they have finally finished placing everything perfectly into the shadow box. Today, Mommy finished organizing the box.
What do you think?
"Mommy, I'm right here, behind the hills!"
Again another sunset spoke to Mommy. Of course, Mommy was driving home from work and of course, she took a photo, again illegally. When the sunset was spotted, it was like it was speaking. Like it was you talking, telling Mommy where you were. It was wonderful. As other cars drove by, they were probably thinking how crazy Mommy was for taking photos of the sun.
But it was beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
Mommy's special necklace.
Mommy received a special necklace from her team while she was on maternity leave. Almost everyday, Mommy wears this necklace. It is something that Mommy treasures and wears to remember you. Everyday when Mommy puts it on, she remembers everything from the first time she saw you to the last time she kissed your little forehead and said goodbye.
Love you baby boy.
An amazing end to a good day.
Today is the first work day since the time change this weekend. Mommy knew it was going to be tough, because she would leave work after dark. However, Mommy managed to make it out just in time to capture the sun setting behind the clouds. Of course, driving and taking photos is tough, and unlawful, but it was done anyway. Today was a good day. Hopeful news was given this morning, nothing major happened at work, and Mommy and Daddy seemed happy.
The sunset was perfect. Such an amazing end to a good day.
Last night Mommy had a very vivid dream about a black and white picture of a baby and this duck. The picture captured the baby with his eyes opened and laughing. The baby was only about eight weeks old and he had a long face. The dream was all about trying to get the black and white photo onto a gray matte with a photo of this little duck.
It captured Mommy's attention, because just a few days after you grew your wings, there was a little yellow bird outside of the kitchen window where this little stuffed duck sits. It was like the little bird was trying to get to this duck. A dream? Or does it mean more?
Snowman cookies for you.
Mommy decided to bake a few holiday cookies today. While cutting out the holiday shaped cookies, Mommy decided that it would be neat to make our family with the sugary treats. After carefully using a toothpick to create our names, the cookies were baked. They turned out perfect.
Miss you baby boy.
Opening in the darkness.
Today, Mommy and Daddy had a doctor's appointment with the IVF doctor. "Our plan" was received, which came as a surprise. Mommy and Daddy just didn't expect something so quickly. After leaving the doctor's office, it seemed as though Mommy and Daddy had a more positive outlook on things.
You may be able to have a brother or sister after all, little man. Looks like there is an opening in our darkness.
The snow frog.
Mommy was chatting with a few FB friends today about the snow in PA from last winter. It reminded Mommy of the snow frog that you, Daddy and Mommy built in February, during your first trimester. Those were the good days, the fun times, that Mommy and Daddy had with you.
May you build beautiful snow angels this year in Heaven, as Mommy and Daddy make you a wonderful snow monkey here on Earth.
Something about a name.
There's something about seeing your name that makes Mommy happy. It is probably knowing that others are thinking of you. Or maybe it is just because seeing your name is an instant reminder. Whatever it is, Mommy loves it. Just like she loves you!
Thank you Tiffany!
Something still grows.
Mommy and Daddy received several flowers and plants on the day of your service. But one of them became Mommy's favorite, real quick. It could have been because it was different than the rest, it could have been because it sat outside for a while, as we weren't home to receive it. But whatever the reason, the plant became Mommy's favorite. The plant still sits on the kitchen table. It is looked at everyday, and it seems like everyday another leaf develops. Initially, there were only three pretty green and purple leaves, there are now more than ten.
Mommy is just glad that something is growing here on Earth with her. It reminds Mommy that you would be growing bigger also. Love you baby!
A family portrait helped bring reality.
Today reality hit Mommy. It took five months to finally understand, and it hit today. Mommy was looking at two pictures on her desk, this one being one, when reality finally hit. The reality of the fact that you aren't coming back presented itself.
It felt very sad, lonely, and heart wrenching. Mommy misses you and wishes you would come back, even if it was just for one day.
Day 42 - Sunday, October 31, 2010
You were thought of all day today, baby boy. Mommy and Daddy miss you and wish you were here.
The costume sat empty and the pumpkins were not carved. We miss you and love you and wish you were with us.
Day 41 - Saturday, October 30, 2010
Mommy and Daddy smiled tonight, one of the few times since you grew your wings. Your parents had fun tonight.
It was amazing baby, amazing to be able to have the brick lifted off for a short period of time.
We love you and miss you. But we understand.
The colorful road ahead.
The change in the season is different this year. Mommy never noticed how beautiful nature is, until this year. Mommy never noticed a lot, until this year. Though you only spent a short time with Mommy and Daddy, you were able to teach them so very much. The five month mark is nearing and with it comes mixed emotions. Sadness, as it is a reminder that you should be here. Happiness, as this family has come so far and learned so much. Pain, cause Mommy and Daddy want you back. Uneasiness, because Mommy and Daddy will be meeting with the doctor to determine the road ahead, just a day before your five month angelversay.
A colorful road with remembrance is the hope. Love you, son.
The special box.
Immediately after your service on Saturday, June 12, Mommy and Daddy decided to preserve the flowers that were on the alter with your ashes. It was something that meant a lot to Mommy. It can't be explained, but it meant preserving one of the only items that Mommy and Daddy gave to you. Mommom spent the next day calling around locating a business that would complete the preservation. She finally found one. After several appointments, many tough decisions, and lots of tears, your memorial box was complete.
Mommy picked up the special box today. It will be hung by Daddy this weekend.
The unworn outfit.
Upon finding out that your life would probably be cut extremely short, Mommy and Daddy went to Babies R Us to purchase an outfit for you. Two were bought and this is the one that was unworn. It was going to be worn at your service, but Mommy and Daddy were told by the funeral director that it was best not to view you again. So the outfit remained unworn.
Today, Daddy finished the final phase of your memorial case in the kitchen. Tonight your belongings have to remain out of the box, so everything can dry. Mommy noticed your outfit and knew it was your reminder tonight. You were thought of immediately.
Mommy receives hate mail once every month, but it isn't the normal hate mail. This isn't mail from someone telling Mommy that they hate her. Instead, it is mail that Mommy gets that she HATES. Hate is a strong word son, and we should limit our use of it, but Mommy hates this mail. One day every month two magazines come. Baby Talk and Parenting. Helpful resources for a mommy with a baby on Earth. Not so helpful for a mommy with a baby in Heaven.
Only Baby Talk arrived today. First time in five months that Mommy will encounter two days of hate mail instead of just one.
Snail mail with wings.
Mommy has been busy meeting other mommies who fall into the BLM category. In doing so, Mommy has joined a BLM Penpal group. Mommy received several cards from a special friend from CA. So, last night Mommy got to work. She wrote several cards out to several special mommies. The cards were mail via snail mail today. You were thought of as the cards were placed in the mailbox. Without you, these wonderful mommies would never receive their snail mail with wings.
You are my angel.
On the way to Mommom's tonight, Mommy noticed a beautiful sunset in the rear view mirror. She tried to capture it, but the photo didn't capture the beauty that was seen by the naked eye. Instead the photo captured something better. It captured the way Mommy feels right now. She feels as though she is driving the road of life, moving forward, but all the while looking back into the rear view mirror.
Mommy wishes you Wyatt James. Wish you were here.
The final piece.
Mommy has been wondering if the IVF practice was aware of your family's loss. Mommy has continued to think about the fact that her doctor added another successful statistic to his count for 2009, but he hasn't added the negative statistic for 2010 to balance it out. Then today, Mommy received this letter from the IVF practice. They are following up on the pregnancy and they would like to know how everything turned out.
Mommy wants to respond to the letter by saying, "The one and only egg that was retrieved resulted in an angel. The egg grew into a beautiful little boy named Wyatt James, whose little life was taken too soon. I am blessed to have been given the 29 weeks and 1 day with him and blessed to have known what pregnancy feels like. However, since I don't have any frozen embryos, because you only retrieved one egg, I feel empty. I feel as though I have lost my chance of having other children, as you used my entire lifetime maximum on insurance coverage to retrieve one egg. Therefore, I would like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to carry my child, name my child, feel pregnancy and understand what HLHS. Most of all, I would like to thank you for allowing an angel to come into my life. However, I would like you to know I am upset by the fact that you took my entire lifetime maximum in one thirty minute office visit."
Mommy will not write that though, because I have learned that there is so much more to life. Mommy has everything she needs with you and Daddy. Should we be blessed with a brother or sister for you, that is great. If not, it wasn't meant to be.
Mommy is shocked to see that there is an option on this letter to check "Stillbirth". That is just sad in so many ways. That worst is that it once I check it, it is the final piece of information that this doctor will receive for our chart.
A sign that is everywhere now.
Mommy began noticing signs in time shortly after you grew your wings. It was kept with Mommy only until recently. Just yesterday, Mommy decided to blog about it. By blogging, Mommy thought that would be the last of the signs, not that she wanted it to. It wasn't. Today, there were just more. Mommy received two, Daddy one, an old neighbor received two, and a friend received one.
You are truly amazing.
Day 32 - Thursday, October 21, 2010
Today, Mommy has begun to realize that over the past few weeks she has been changing. The pain of losing you is becoming easier to deal with. It is NOT gone, and it will always be there.
Just like the color of the pine needles on the tree are changing, Mommy is changing. Mommy is starting to be able to look toward the future, instead of being stuck in the days of your loss.
This was only realized today, after another tragic event took place. You gained another angel friend, this time a little girl whose name is Danni-Lynn. Make sure you play nice with her on the playground.
Looking over me.
While driving home today from walking, Mommy noticed the sunset. It was beautiful and it reminded Mommy of you. It made Mommy feel like you were looking right at her. Like you were trying to see what was going on. Mommy smiled at the sunset and thought to herself how wonderful Heaven must look if this beauty can be seen from Earth.
Whenever Mommy looks to the sky, she thinks of you, but today she felt you. Love you baby!
Mommy had decided to open a FB account shortly after you became an angel. It was something that has blessed Mommy since she opened it. Mommy has found so many wonderful people through FB and today definitely validated that belief.
It's beautiful, isn't baby boy?
Cotton in the sky.
Mommy and Daddy spent the day driving home from Illinois. On the trip, there were several reminders of you. There was a bridge that looked like it was a welcome mat to Heaven, a beautiful tree with red leaves, and these clouds that looked as though you placed them in the sky for Mommy. Since Mommy has only been using one photo per day, Mommy decided on the clouds.
The clouds look like cotton balls that you dropped on your way to Heaven to ensure Mommy knows the path to meet you. The blue, in a way, forms a heart.
My child - I love you!
Butterfly in the sky.
As a farewell goodbye, Mommy and Daddy had dinner with Sawyer's mommy and daddy our on last night in Illinois. The dinner was great. The daddies got along well, and so did the mommies. Like friends who had known each other for years. After dinner, we went outside by a fire pit. Mommy happened to notice a butterfly on a pillar nearby. It was the only pillar with a butterfly and it happened to be right near us.
It was like it was a sign from you and Sawyer, telling us that you were both there.
Sawyer's mommy organized a walk which took place today, it was called A Walk to Remember. This walk was the whole purpose of why Mommy and Daddy came to IL this week. We wanted to be at the walk to so we could be with Sawyer's family and show our support for both you and Sawyer. The walk was beautiful, this was the first time Mommy and Daddy had done something for you and it didn't rain. The weather was perfect. We saw a few dragonflies and even a hawk flying in the sky. This helped Mommy and Daddy know that you were there with us.
Best of all, Mommy and Daddy were able to be with Sawyer's mommy and daddy. Everyday
I love you Wyatt.
Day 26 - Friday, October 15, 2010
Mommy and Daddy had dinner with Sawyer's family tonight. It was so much fun. Mommy is so glad that you brought us together with Sawyer's family. It was like being with friends that we had known for years. Sawyer's mommy gave Mommy a candle to light tonight since today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day.
Mommy and Daddy came back to the hotel and allowed Cheeky to present you with your first candle of remembrance. Love you baby boy!!
Day 25 - Thursday, October 14, 2010
While at the Buckingham Fountain, Mommy said to Daddy, "This will be Wyatt's reminder today." Just as it was said, a rainbow presented itself on the edge of the fountain. As soon as Mommy took the photo, the picture disappeared. Thank you baby, for allowing us the gift of knowing you were with us. Love you!
Walk to Remember shirts.
Today, Mommy and Daddy received the t-shirts that Mommy designed in memory of you for the Walk to Remember in IL. The walk will take place this weekend, October 16, just one day after the Day of Remembrance, October 15. Nana and Grandpa worked to ensure that Mommy and Daddy were able to have these shirts to show you off during the walk. We love you very much and want you displayed near our heart.
Mommy never thought that she would be making shirts and going to IL for a walk. Just over four months ago, Mommy thought that she would be spending this time on maternity leave taking care of you. That is not the case. Instead, Mommy and Daddy will be walking with Sawyer's Mommy and Daddy and sister, and many other families to remember our babies.
To remember you, Wyatt. Mommy and Daddy will always remember you, baby!
The pearl ornament.
Back in July, on a trip to the beach, Mommy bit into a chunk of crap meat and found three crab pearls. At the time, Mommy thought quickly of you, Sawyer, and Owen. To this day, Mommy believes that those pearls were the first sign that was noticed. Mommy and Daddy are heading up to IL this week to visit Sawyer's parents and sister. Mommy received a Hallmark ornament from a special friend a few weeks back and thought that this same ornament would be perfect for Sawyer's family. So, Mommy went into Hallmark today and purchased it. The lady behind the counter asked me about the story behind the ornament selection. After it was told to her, two other ladies joined the conversation. They all said, "it must be the sign".
Thank you baby boy. For your sign is bringing Mommy and Daddy together with your friend's family.
A retouch that touches the heart.
Mommy recently established her own chapter with Forever Warm, an organization which donates blankets to hospitals so they can be provided to babies in need. Mommy will be using the donated blankets from Forever Warm for the Angel Care Packages that will be donated to CHOP. In doing this, Mommy became friends with Summer, who established Forever Warm
The photo today was retouched by Summer, and Mommy loves it. You look like a china doll, so very precious, it just touches my heart!
Your name was written on a shell by another wonderful BLM. She worked so hard to write all of the names of the little angels who left too soon in 2010 on these sea shells. She photographed each shell and the place them all together to form a heart
Because Mommy wishes that you were not part of that heart. Mommy wishes you were still here, here with a good heart.
An invitation like no other.
Today, Mommy and Daddy received a beautiful invitation with Mommy's favorite photo of your cousin, PJ. PJ was born exactly one month and one day after you. Daddy was asked to be his Godfather. We received the invitation today, and Mommy couldn't help but wonder. The wondering turned to wishing and then into that same empty feeling, the feeling that Mommy gets when she knows that you will never be coming back.
Your reminder today is bitter sweet. For it reminded Mommy that Daddy will be PJ's Godfather, for which we are so grateful, but it was another reminder that you will not be growing up side by side with your cousin.
A baby butterfly necklace.
Mommy ordered the cutest little baby butterfly necklace in memory of you. The pieces are made by hand by a wonderful artist out of New York. Mommy received the piece today. It is so beautiful. Mommy will wear it with pride, knowing that the baby butterfly will always be a reminder of you.
It sure is precious, just like you!
The storm cloud.
Since you grew your wings on June 4 of this year, every time it rains Mommy thinks of you. The raindrops remind Mommy of tears falling from Heaven, as if you are crying. With today marking your four month angelversary (based on your delivery date), to see the storm clouds today was bitter sweet. Although the storm clouds were present, it never actually rained. Again, bitter sweet. For Mommy looks at the rain as your teardrops. So the clouds were there, like you were going to cry, but you held back all day.
That was exactly how Mommy felt, the entire day. Although so far apart, we still feel the same emotions. I love you, Wyatt, will all my heart. Happy Four Month Angelversay!
Mommy worked from home today and found a dragonfly laying near the door. Mommy thought of you but never looked beyond the dragonfly. Mommy received a message later saying that your name was in the dragonfly's wings. And sure enough it was. When Mommy looked up the meaning of a dragonfly there was a lot of interesting facts. A good dragonfly site: http://www.dragonfly-site.com/meaning-symbolize.html.
Thank you for the sign baby boy!!! I love you!
A wonderful card from a wonderful person.
Since the day you grew your wings, Mommy has become friends with so many other mommies who have little angels. Us, mommies, have formed a BLM Penpal group where we send cards to one another, just because. It helps us mommies pull through without our little angels. Today, Mommy received a pretty card from Aiden's Mommy, Jen. It was so wonderful to receive the card today, cause Mommy was just having one of those days.
Thank you, Jen, for making the day happier and for sending Wyatt's reminder today! Love ya girl!
Family of pumpkins.
This weekend Mommy and Daddy got the outside of the house ready for fall. Daddy planted the mums and Mommy made sure the pumpkins looked perfect. This year, Mommy and Daddy purchased three pumpkins. One for each of us.
When Mommy and Daddy return from seeing your friend, Sawyer's family in IL, we will decorate the pumpkins. Mommy was looking forward to doing this with you this year. But instead, Mommy and Daddy will have to do it in your honor.
A ride on Mommy's shoulder.
Today, Mommy received a sign that was riding on her right shoulder. You sent Mommy a pretty little white feather, which was attached so very carefully on the shoulder of Mommy's shirt. Mommy received this sign just two days after telling Daddy that you haven't sent Mommy feathers in a while.
It's signs like this, when I know you are with Mommy and Daddy! We love you!
Changing with the season.
So this makes number four in ten day. That's right, Daddy found another four leaf clover. So far, Daddy has found three with heart shaped clovers and one with circle clovers. Mommy likes the autumn colored three leaf clover that Daddy found also. It lets Mommy know that you are changing with the seasons also. Autumn is Mommy's favorite season.
Thank you for continuing to send us your signs. They continue to get more beautiful and we love each and every one of them. Love you baby!
Day 11 - Thursday, September 30, 2010
A little ladybug.
Last night, Mommy found a ladybug crawling on the sliding glass door in the kitchen. Mommy quickly took the little ladybug over to show Daddy and of course, to get some pictures. Mommy had to research to find out what ladybugs mean. This is what Mommy found: This tiny little beetle brings with it a powerful message. Because the life cycle of the adult ladybug is short it teaches us how to release worries and enjoy our lives to the fullest. When it appears in our life it is telling us to "let go and let God." (http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Love-Ladybugs/141399)
Thank you baby boy for this sign.
Is it cause you are Irish?
Daddy found another one today. Mommy can't believe it! In a matter of eight days, Daddy found three four leaf clovers. Something that Mommy and Daddy had never found before. We know it is you, we are just trying to determine what you are trying to tell us.
We love you very much! Luck of the Irish, Little McGrory!
A tribute to be published.
On December 12, a candle lighting memorial will be held at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia for children lost too soon. Of course, Mommy and Daddy will be attending the service in your honor, for you were lost way too soon. A request was received by Mommy and Daddy for a photo and written tribute that will be publish in the 2010 National Children's Memorial Day book.
Mommy spent all night searching for the perfect photo and writing a loving tribute. Everything is complete, it is just awaiting Daddy's love.
The monkey named Wyatt James.
Mommy and Daddy received a monkey named after you. Umpa and your cousin Izzy went to the Build a Bear Workshop and made a monkey in your memory. They dressed the monkey in a cute little outfit and even got him sunglasses. The cute little monkey received a birth certificate, something that you never received.
Although Mommy and Daddy received this monkey, please understand that you will always be our one and only little monkey.
The butterfly balloon.
Mommy and Daddy attended the memorial service at CHOP today. Mommom, Umpa, Nana and Grandpa were there also. Your name was read and your photo was displayed for everyone to see. We were so honored to be there for you. After the memorial, Daddy went to get your butterfly balloon that the hospital gave to us for you.
It's beautiful, just like the memorial, just like YOU!
An angel gift.
Just a few short weeks ago, Mommy began working on crocheting a baby blanket to take to CHOP on the day of the memorial service. Mommy is finishing the blanket tonight. Tomorrow is the memorial service and Mommy plans to take the blanket to the SDU floor to provide to another little angel.
Mommy purchased a little bear to give with the blanket. This is just one of the many blankets that Mommy plans to make and give to little angels.
The entire time Mommy made this blanket, you were thought of. Mommy loves you!!!
Day 5 - Friday, September 24, 2010
From one BLM to another.
Since your angel day, many BLMs have sent Mommy photos and tags as simple reminders. Today Mommy received a beautiful photo of sand and stones on the beach with a poem that meant so much. Your name and date of delivery were also listed on the photo. Leslie sent Mommy the photo today, but I don't know if Leslie knew just how much the poem meant.
For the poem was so very close the one that was used on your mass cards called Sweet Child. The poem took Mommy back to the day that we found the Sweet Child poem. Mommy was reading the poem aloud as Daddy, Mommom, and Aunt Heather stood in the office. When Mommy turned to ask if it was the "right" poem, we were all in tears, as we knew it was the one.
Mommy and Daddy still have that poem hung on the fridge, right next to your pictures. We read your poem every day sometimes more than once.
Thank you, Leslie, for the wonderful photo and poem that allowed for such a wonderful reminder today!
Mommy and Daddy love you Wyatt!
Mommy wears a bracelet that is dedicated to you. I received three charms and the bracelet from your Aunt Laura before you were delivered. Since then, Mommy and Daddy have added a few more charms that remind us of you. Of course my favorites are your name and the monkey.
Mommy wears this bracelet almost every day. It is my reminder that you are with Mommy during the day. To be able to look down throughout the day and be reminded of you is wonderful!