Saturday, August 27, 2011

Reality

I sit and look at your pictures as I feed your brother and it makes my heart hurt ache.  I see you in him with each of his facial expressions.  I think about what you would have been like at this age.  I wonder what you would have looked like now.  I often find myself imagining what it would be like to have a one year old and your brother at the same time. 

I know that you are where you are safe and free from pain.  I know that you can't come back to us.  But there are so many times over the past few weeks where I find myself believing that you are still just gone for a little bit, like you will return to us soon.  Then reality sets back in and I realize I am wrong. 

Oh Wyatt, why did it have to be like this.  I miss you so much.  I find myself standing in front of your urn several times a weeks with your brother.  When he laughs in his sleep I wonder if he is dreaming of you.  When he looks past me and seems amused I wonder if you sees you. 

I wish that you and your brother would have grown up together.  I wish that you could have played together and acted like brothers do.  Instead, I ask that you watch over your brother and that you show your brother (when the time is right) that you are there.  One day your brother will know and understand everything about you.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Walk at the Park

Over the past few days the signs have been every where. 

Dragonflies in numbers by our pool.  My blue butterfly finally returned.  Butterflies during our first trip to the park.  And a special dragonfly at the park yesterday.

I noticed this special dragonfly on our second lap around the park.  It caught me by surprise at first but when I realized what it was I was happy.  I looked up while walking the path and noticed the dragonfly soaring above.  I continued to walk down the path but ensured I kept tabs on our little visitor.  After walking another minute or so, I realized the dragonfly was following us.  It was hovering above and flying in the same direction we were walking.  As I turned with the park's path, the dragonfly turned too.  It was so awesome.

He was there.  He decided the join us for a walk at the park yesterday.  Some of you may think I am crazy, but I know deep in my heart that my Wyatt was there with his mommy and his little brother.  Funny thing is, Nolan was wearing his little brother outfit, fitting since his big brother was there with us on our walk.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

He's Here!!!

Your baby brother is here, Wyatt.  It was a tough delivery but he is here.  It is so amazing just how much he looks like you.  You two have all the same features, the cute little chin, chubby cheeks, a button nose, Mommy's wide set eyes, and Daddy's lips. 

Delivery was hard, as Nolan decided he was going to turn sideways and not move.  After many hours we had to do a c-section. 

Your baby brother was born on 7/26 at 1:38a. 

Here he is: