Thursday, November 4, 2010
Four Questions (A Little Thing)
I fell asleep last night thinking about something I had commented on a friends blog earlier in the day. The friend was accepting questions from others (cool idea, I thought) that she would eventually take time to answer. Having an instructor mindset, I quickly came up with four questions that would also make great icebreakers in a classroom environment.
The questions were:
1. What is the one thing that you really want to do/accomplish before your time on Earth ends?
2. If given all the money in the world, what would you do with it and why?
3. If you could travel back in time, would you change anything, why or why not?
4. If you could have a different name, what would it be and why?
After typing these questions, clicking the post comment button, and then receiving a response that my friend receive the comment, I began thinking. I thought about how I had just asked a friend to answer questions that I have never honestly given much thought to. I brushed it off and thought, "It's okay, it's just questions."
But at 11:42p, I found myself laying in bed thinking about the questions again. I realized that I needed to answer them myself. It's amazing how little things pull at me now, nag like a song stuck in my head or taunt me with an envious mockery. But they do. It's the little things that make me realize I have taken life for granted all these years. It's the little things that require me to change.
Today, is November 4th. Just another day to many. But it is the five month mark of Wyatt's surgery, the surgery that made him an angel. Today is a perfect day to answer the four questions, the same ones I asked my friend to answer.
So here goes:
What is the one thing that you really want to do/accomplish before your time on Earth ends?
I would like to accomplish having a family, with a child living on Earth. I want to experience the firsts and share them with my family. All of the firsts: the first step, first tooth, first word, first grade, first dance, first car, first boyfriend/girlfriend, first house, first grandchild.
If given all the money in the world, what would you do with it and why?
I would use the money to ensure those wanting to have a family could embark on their dreams. I would start a foundation that would provide financial assistance to those struggling to create a family. The funds could be used for medical procedures, adoption, or to help a child in distress.
If you could travel back in time, would you change anything, why or why not?
I think many of you will be surprised at this answer. No, I wouldn't change anything. Of course, I would love for Wyatt to be alive here on Earth. I would love for him to be in my arms right now. However, in the past five months, I have realized that there is a reason, a reason for everything. If I were to travel back in time and change one event in my life, another event may have never happened. Although there are several events in my life that I regret, dislike, think are wrong, or wish never took place, it took all of those events, combined with all of the good events, which led me to who I am today. Who am I to change an event? My path was decided for me before birth, I believe that now. If I were to change something, I would not be on the correct path. I would be missing something that was meant for me to see/feel/experience.
If you could have a different name, what would it be and why?
I would want the name of Mommy. I have dreamed, since I was little, of being a mommy. I am a mommy to Wyatt, but I never got to hear the name. If I could have a different name, it would be Mommy.
How can I ask someone to answer questions when I, myself, never gave them thought? I can't. But now I can, as the four questions have been answered and I feel better. The nagging and taunting are gone, as I paid attention to a little thing.