Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Unfinished Room

The season is getting ready to change, I can feel it in the air. It is getting colder at night. Fall is almost here. Fall is different this year. I was looking forward to enjoying my maternity leave this fall. I was going to take the baby for walks in the stroller and enjoy moments curled up on the couch together.

None of that will happen this fall.

With the air changing and the humidity gone, I have decided that it is time to start painting. Some may think that I am wrong, but I am starting with the room that was to be the baby's nursery. I have to do it. I am tired of looking at the unfinished room, knowing it would have been finished by now.

We had decided that we were not going to find out the gender of the baby. So when we decided on the nursery set, we picked out a gender neutral set. After countless hours of Internet searching, we decided on Pooh. I had just bought the set two weeks prior to the 28 week ultrasound.

The set still remains in the unfinished room. Several have suggested I return the set. But I can't. That is the only NEW item I purchased for the baby. Will I use the set if there is another baby, I don't know. Maybe it will just remain in its package, but at least I will not have returned the only NEW item that I purchased for the baby.

Around here, there is a firm belief that childrens clothes should be passed down if they aren't damaged. A way to save money. I believed that also and that is why my mom and I went to the Wee Cycle sale in MD in February of this year.

I thought it was safe. They say, "once you make it past 12 weeks, the first trimester, you are good to go". If I only would have known. But since I thought it was safe, we ventured to the sale. Again, not knowing the baby's gender, we searched every rack for gender neutral clothes.

When I returned home, my mom and I went through the purchased items. We realized then that we had purchased a blanket and outfit set. They were sold separately, so we didn't realized we had a set while at the sale. I determined that this was the outfit that the baby would be coming home in.

I had also determined "the favorite outfit". I love frogs, and the outfit had a frog on it. The outfit was so soft and just looked super comfy. I could totally see my child in this outfit.

After receiving the bad news, we determined that it would be best to find out the gender of our baby. When we found out on May 27 that we were having a boy, Brian and I decided to go to Babies R Us and purchase little boy outfits for him.

I still have all of the other items, plus countless other gender neutral outfits that were purchased at the sale. They sit in the unfinished room, awaiting the next pregnancy. Will the next baby wear the "coming home outfit" or the "comfy outfit", probably not. They are a reminder of little Wyatt. But the next baby will have tons of other outfits.

Yes, the season is getting ready to change. I will begin to paint that unfinished room today. I am looking forward to it. Just like I move my clothes from closet to attic every season, so too will these clothes move to the attic.

As I pack up the summer items and put them in storage, I will put away many of the "could have beens" as well.


Jennifer said...

So sad... :( I can't pack up mine. As my nursey was completely finished. If the next baby is a girl I will be SO sad that i will have to change the nursey over for a girl. Pink instead of blue. I hope the new paint color is full of hope and blessings for you and your hubby.. Love ya

Ally Sylum said...

Oh Megan...I know where you are with that! It took me forever to get through all of Rhys' things...Now one section of the closet is reserved for boxes and piles of things that were never used. Although we did get to use a few of his blankets at the hospital, even those are in plastic bags and then in plastic bins. We want to try again, but I must admit I am terrified and then very frustrated each month. Just remember, you are an inspiration to other angel mommies. Hugs from Tennessee

Stefenie said...

Thank you for joining in my blog event.

I am so very sorry for your loss. My oldest son is named Wyatt James so I was taken aback when I saw that was what you named your precious angel. {{{HUG}}}

Sending many prayers your way for continued healing!

Wyatt's Mommie said...

@ Stefenie... OMG, that is ironic. My husband and I could only agree on one name, that was Wyatt. When it came to the middle name, he was Wyatt Gavin for 8 hours. That changed quickly when we understood that he wasn't going to make it. We wanted him to have part of his Daddy's name. So he became Wyatt James.