So that's it... My maternity leave is over effective tomorrow at 8a, as I walk into that building again to sit at my desk and begin to work again.
I can't believe it. Twelve weeks, just like that over. I remember talking with someone the other day and they asked if I did anything. That is when I started thinking, "what did I do?"
It's not like I had a baby to take care of, right? Right. But thinking back on the past twelve weeks, I have done a lot. I didn't do anything dramatic to the house or get a lot of what I wanted to do done. But I did do a lot.
I delivered my son. I said goodbye to my son. I grieved for my son. I learned a lot about the meaning of love and life. And most of all, I learned a lot about my husband and myself.
So yes, maternity leave is over. I am returning to a part of my old world. It won't be the same though, nothing is.
Just like old times, I have my lunch packed, the laptop ready to go, and my badge tucked in my purse. I am ready to leave for work tomorrow, back to drive the same route, and sit at the same desk. I will be working with mostly the same people. But it still won't be the same.
I have photos of Wyatt ready to take to work to put on my desk. I have my outfit all picked out and ready to go. I even know what we are having to eat for dinner tomorrow night. The one thing I don't have planned is what I am going to say when someone asks "how is the baby?"
Nope, I haven't planned that, and I am not going to. If the question is presented, they will get the answer that comes out, whatever it may be.
The biggest thing I have learned in the past twelve weeks is that I can't plan for everything. I wanted to plan when I would have kids, that didn't work. I wanted to plan what my maternity leave was going to be like, that didn't work. I wanted to plan my life story, that didn't work.
So, I have decided that planning isn't for me. It just doesn't work. So I will now begin living life without a plan.
I am returning to work tomorrow without a plan, none what-so-ever. For those who know me, not having a plan is definitely not me. But hey, "life without a plan" has to bring brighter outcomes than "life with a plan" did, right?