In My Heart

It's approaching... another dreaded day, Mother's Day, another reminder of the baby boy that I don't hold in my arms. I recently found a quote that applies here, "Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever." 

Sadly, my short while was a mere 28 hours, even less for the fact that I didn't hold him the entire time as I was too tired thanks to the medications.  I guess one could say I did hold him for 29 weeks and 1 day inside me, so that counts too.  But it is still too short. 

Previously I had posted that I wouldn't take a wish if presented to me, only because I wouldn't know what he would have to go through to make my wish come true.  But today, with Mother's Day drawing near, I wish I could see my child one more time.  I would love to hold him, kiss him, and touch that little wrinkle in his forehead.  I would love for so much more, but it will never happen. 

All I can do now is try to understand that he is in a better place, free from hurt and pain.  He is somewhere special that I shall long to be.  He is where I will see him after this life and until then he will remain in my heart while I hold onto his heart!