Friday, December 31, 2010

Here's to another 365 days....

A few hours left until a new year so I thought I would take time to get my final thoughts of this year in.  I think it will be best if I do a Jay Leno Tonight Show Top 10.  This list is the top 10 reasons why 2010 was the worst year EVER.  Ready?  Here goes...

10.  The diminishing savings account - It's amazing to me how we can go into the year having a surplus of funds but when we end we have just enough to pay the bills and buy some food.  We never had to carry a credit card balance, but here we are at the end of the year with a nice fat $2500.00 balance to pay off in 2011. 

9.  A broken house - Since moving into our home in 2006, we have had nothing but problems with it.  The basement takes on water, the house is barely sealed so it comes with drafts, insulation doesn't really exist in our house, and our electric will that is just a joke.  This year Brian determined that our support beams are beginning to rot in the foundation and the main reason for the water in the basement is due to the way the driveway was laid.  Also, lets not forget our pesky friends, the Stink Bugs.  We are still finding them.  Brian flushed several just the other day.

8.  Politics - Since this blog is viewed by many, I will just leave it at politics.  I will not discuss what politics I am referencing.  Please just know that I feel that politics suck and that is what is wrong with this world.

7.  An increase in the cost of living but a decrease in the paycheck - Of course, insurance increased again and so did the cost of gas, electric, milk, food, and co pays.  But guess what, the amount we are paid, well that remained the same.  Amazing ain't it?  I recall just a few years ago, people would get a "cost of living" wage increase.  In 2010, the cost of living increased but the take home pay decreased, something just ain't right.

6.  Thirty years - I turned thirty this year.  THIRTY.  Where in the hell did the first thirty years of my life go?  Oh yea, the last three were spent in doctor's offices trying to make a baby.  The ones before that were spent being young and naive. 

5.  A family wouldn't be family without a feud - Nothing like spending three weeks watching a family feud unfold.  Since one family member thought it would be easier to just ignore another, a feud took place.  More like a pissing match if you ask me.  Needless to say, Thanksgiving was spent without one of the family members and their family.  Sheesh.

4.  Another lie - This should have been expected, but again, it was a let down.  Since the age of twelve, I have been told that "he was coming, he would arrive soon, he said he would show this weekend".  It happened again.  He said he was coming for Christmas, not that I really believed it, but I thought maybe he would.  He didn't, a no show, yet again.  It was expected but damn it, don't say you are doing something, when you already know that you won't. 

3.  Chemo is a poison - My Grandmother, though vey young to be my Grandmother, she has been diagnosed with cancer.  While asking her about it, she explained that chemo is a poison, she is basically taking poison into her body to win her battle.  Then I find out, the plan isn't for her to win, it is just for her to make it another few months.  WTF?

2.  CHD - I never thought three letters would or could be my number two on one of my top ten lists, but these three letters will haunt me forever.  CHD.  Congenital Heart Defect.  I never knew anything about CHD, never knew that it was the number one killer amongst newborns, never knew that there could be so many heart defects in one little heart.  I found all of this out in 2010 and it only took two days to understand it all.  CHD.  Congenital Heart Defect.  Or as I know it, Cause Him Death.

And the number one reason why 2010 was the worst year ever:

1.  Saying goodbye to a child we never said hello to - I think that this would have to be any parents number one reason for a year to be the worst ever.  A pregnancy that was perfect, one that was uneventful, well that is until week 27.  Then in a matter of two weeks, we learn that we are having a boy, that he had a heart condition, that the condition was one of the worst seen at one of the world's best hospitals, and that his chance of survival was well... slim to none.  He didn't make it through the surgery, the one that was considered "experimental".  He was delivered on my thirtieth birthday, and two days later his Daddy and I sat facing each other in a funeral home while we picked out his urn.  It wasn't supposed to be like that.  Things like that don't happen to me.  Hahaha, damn was I wrong, that was quickly understood.  In the blink of an eye, we were no longer expecting our first child, we no longer had a nursery to prepare, we no longer had doctor appointments.  Instead, we sat starring at a cute little angel on a set of blue marble steps, our son's urn. 

And there you have it, the top 10 reasons why 2010 was the worst year ever.  All I can do is hope that 2011 will not be such a let down.  I am not sure that I can take a repeat of 2010, but then again, a year ago today, I would have told you I wouldn't have been able to take losing my son either.  It's amazing how much one can actually take. 

Well, here's to another 365 days.... wonder what will be in store for us this time around????

1 comment:

Melissa said...

I hope it has something good in store for you. =)