This Christmas season is the salt to my wound. I try to fight the pain and hide it with a smile but deep down the only thing I feel is the sharp and aching pain of the salt being poured onto my wound. It is painful and it rips at my heart. It hurts like no other pain and it never goes away. There is always that tug at my heart, the pain that numbs my body, the void that will never be filled.
The gifts are wrapped and the tree is decorated. Cookies will be made today. The Christmas cards have been mailed and the stockings have been hung. But there are presents missing, 1st Christmas ornaments will not come, and a stocking that still hasn't been hung. This year at Christmas, there are tears in our home which should be replaced with a little ones laughter.
I listen to the Christmas songs this year, they mean so much more. I haven't ever REALLY listened to them and fully understood the meaning. There are so many songs that I have to turn off this year. There are even more that I listen to and hardly make it through. Christmas songs used to make me laugh and dance through the house, but this year they have made me realize what Christmas is all about.
A BLM came up with an idea to create a "Wishmas Tree" in honor of her daughter. This little "Wishmas Tree" got me thinking of what I would wish for if I had only one wish. My wish would be simple: Allow me to be with Wyatt for just one more day. I don't ask for a lifetime, as I know that was not the way. I just ask for one more day, so we can giggle, laugh, and play. Until then, I will have a void that will never be filled again.
I would like to leave you with a song that reminds me of Wyatt, our little angel forever. I can't listen to this song without thinking him and all the other angels who were lost too soon. May all of our angels have a wonderful holiday season and know that they are missed and loved so very much.