Thursday, December 30, 2010

Goodbye 2010....

.... and here we are, two days away from a new year. 

I have waited for a new year since the middle of this year.  This time last year, I couldn't wait for 2010 because my first child, the one we tried for forever, would be delivered, boy if I would have only known. 

Am I anxious for 2011, yes, but only to get the hell away from 2010.  I used to have this theory, and I had it ever since I was little.  I remember sitting in my Grandparent's diner telling my Uncles about this theory when I was younger.  My theory was this:  All even years are good and all odd years bring nothing by bad. 

Man, my theory was proven 100% incorrect this year.  Though Brian and I were blessed, yet again, at the end of the year with our miracle baby, our even year SUCKED.  It was the worst year ever.  Some would disagree by saying at least you felt your baby move and grow inside you.  To those, I have to disagree.  To lose the child that we tried for 26 months to create, the child that was carried for 29 weeks and 1 day gestation, a child who when delivered looked perfect, well that is the worst event that could happen.  If you disagree, then I am sorry. 

This year brought other bad events also.  Shortly after Wyatt's passing, my Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer.  Stage 4 cancer.  Not good.  She is receiving Chemo, but it's not supposed to cure her, just extend her life a bit. 

Then there is the economy.  Well, they say on the news that things are getting better, but I am not sure who they ask to find that out.  Our saving accounts are slowly creeping to the very low mark, though I guess that is still better than some.  My Dad lost his job this August and is still currently unemployed.  And my poor brother.  He goes overseas to fight for our country in Iraq and returns to find he is jobless.  So, if "they" were to ask my family how the economy did for 2010, our response would be "It died."

Overall, 2010 was a God awful year.  It could have been worse, I understand that.  I have friends out there who have struggled with 2010 more than we have.  There is a special friend who I think of often, she lost three family members, all within weeks of each other.  There are others who lost their babies also this year, some due to heart issues, and many others due to several other complications.  There are others out there who are homeless and who don't have very much.  And there others out there who are still struggling to become pregnant. 

My wish for 2011 is that whatever we are struggling with this year, in 2010, may we overcome it in 2011.  May we all move past the hurdle that was presented to us in 2010, and push forward to our next big obstacle.  May we find peace for at least a short while and may we enjoy life the way it is meant to be enjoyed. 

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