Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Poem

Today was one of those emotional roller coaster days. One of those days where I am happy one minute, sad the next, then side tracked, but right back to sad. There were a few times today that I found myself wanting to just sit and cry, for no reason other than I miss my baby.

I watched the clock today at work, I couldn't wait until it was over. I needed to get out so I could have time to understand my feelings. I drove to the park, went for a walk, then drove home. On the way home, I began to understand the feelings. I thought to myself, it is okay to feel on the verge of tears every now and then.

You see, for the past three weeks, I have been so strong. I have made it through every day without tears. I still think of him every moment of the day. I still miss him more than ever. I still want him with me and wish I could hold him, kiss him, rock him, comfort him.

But the realization is, I can't. I am stuck here and he is there. I was watching TV this week, and I remember hearing someone say "Life is nothing more than a journey between two places". I don't remember what show it was from or anything, I just recall hearing it. I immediately related to the statement and I even referenced it today in a conversation. I thought of that same statement on my drive home. I thought about how I could incorporate both places into my journey, my life.

I have joined this group on FB called Journey Through the Bible. Each day another passage of the Bible is explored and we are asked to leave comments regarding the passage.

Today the passage was: Genesis 1:6-13
6 And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water." 7 So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. 8 God called the expanse "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day. 9 And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. 10 God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good. 11 Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so. 12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.

... and this was my comment - " So, I have been trying to understand the Bible more since the loss of my baby in June. Here is my comment on this passage -
If God created the sky, the waters and the land, then why did he have to position land so far from Heaven? Why do we feel so disconnected from Heaven and so far away? Why couldn't he have placed a stairway from the land to the sky so I could visit my baby?"

I received several FB messages and a few likes with regards to my comment. But one message that I received was perfect for the day I was having. It brought me to tears when I read it, as I realized that I will have the chance to see my baby again one day. The message was a poem, the same poem I listed below:

~~~~Safe in the Father’s Arms~~~~

Far away from fear and death
Do my children play;
Never to know the sting of sin
On their spotless soul;
Never to know a single tear
Nor stab of searing pain.

In the Father’s arms are they,
His face do they behold.
In arms of tender comfort
They rest in loving cheer;
Salty taste of tears
Never to crease their face;
Not burnt by scorching sun
Nor chilled by thunderous storms.
Untouched by earthly shadows
And haunting pangs of night,
They giggle in golden warmth
And snuggle in contented glee.

Lifted higher than dreams can go,
They soar above
The failings of earth
And thrive in the love
Of the Father
Whose tender grace sparkles
And wondrous ways smile
With endless delight.

Yet my arms feel empty.
With painful chest
I long to hold them
To my breast;
To see their smiling faces
And ease my painful fears.
Yet this I know:
They are safe
In the Master’s care.
And I shall see them face to face
And hold them when I’m there.

They’ve breezed their way to Paradise.
How smooth their getting there;
So free from blame and shame.
More pain than them I’ve known,
Yet our destiny’s the same.
Their journey there was easy;
Long and hard is mine.
But whether quick or long,
We will meet again.

Till then, my loves, rest easy.
Behold his face and rejoice
Without a single fear.
I shall come to you some day
And you shall dry my tears,
As I weep in joy
To see your cheery face.
And even now at times
I think I hear your giggles,
But rest, my loves, in his arms,
Till I am with you there.

Although my child is no longer in this place with me, I know he is in a better place. This poem says it all. He never had to live in the place I am living, feel hurt or pain. He was chosen to live in the other place, the place of peace and happiness. There are days that I find it hard to remember that he is at peace, for I am in so much pain that I overlook his peacefulness. Today was one of those days but in the end I was reminded and I can understand.

~~~~ Many thanks to Robert Smith ~~~~


Jessica said...

BEAUTIFUL POEM! Could you tell me how to get to that bible study? I would love to do it also.
Thinking of you...

Wyatt's Mommie said...

FB link for the bible study - http://www.facebook.com/BibleJourney?ref=ts