Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Song

"...The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking, sometimes they knock me down, no I'm not breaking, the pain I'm knowing, but these are the moments that, I'm going to remember most yeah, just got to keep going, and I, I got to be strong, just keep pushing on..."

These are the lyrics to the song "The Climb", by Miley Cyrus. This song was posted on a friends page a few weeks ago as it was her motivation during her struggles. Since seeing the song, I have picked the song apart. The lyrics above is my life in a nut shell right now.

The definition of struggles, which I located on the Internet is: To labor in pain or anguish; to be in agony; to labor in any kind of difficulty or distress. I would have to say that struggling for 26 months to conceive a child, countless let downs and unanswered prayers, the loss of a child to a condition so rare, and the pain of a broken heart would have to count as struggles. But understanding that there isn't a seen reason at the time, but that there is reason for everything, just proves that I may get knocked down, but I am not fully broken. I hurt inside and I cry on the outside. But I have to remember that there is a purpose, there is a life plan, a reason, for all of this.

This song couldn't be anymore right. I am going to remember all of the moments with my son FOREVER. These are the moments I will remember the most. My struggle to become pregnant, my 29 weeks of being pregnant, the 48 minutes of pushing, the moment I first saw my son's little face and held him in my arms, and the short but memorable 28 hours I spent with my son. Sadly, I will also remember the pain I felt the day we found out about his condition, the day that the surgery didn't work, and the day I had to say "goodbye".

But, as the song says, "I got to be strong, just keep on pushing on", that is what I have to do. I have to be strong for my son, so he can be at peace in Heaven. I have to be strong so I can move on, to find the reason for everything that happened to my son, my miracle child. There is a reason, and I will continue to be strong, so I can find it.


Michelle said...

isn't it amazing how you can hear a song or read a poem now and the meaning is ENTIRELY different?

Wyatt's Mommie said...

Yes, Michelle, it is. I seem to listen more to the meaning of songs and such more now days.