Always

It's that time of the month again (no not that... lol), it's time to flip the calendar to a new month.  One would think that after twenty-one months that the twenty-second month would be a bit easier.  It isn't.  Almost twenty-two months ago my life, as I once knew it, had ended.  I didn't knew it then, but nothing would ever be the same.... nothing.

I recall seeing a post recently about before loss and after.  The post was basically saying life is looked at as before the loss and after the loss.  I kinda looked at it like before Christ and after Christ (if you believe in that).  Life isn't supposed to be divided up in two, but mine is.  Many who have lost a loved one (child or parent) have their lives divided into two.  Mine can now be considered before losing Wyatt and after losing Wyatt. 

Why you ask?  Well it's simple.  The loss of a child causes a pain that nothing, no one, and not even time can heal.  Life will always be different.  There is a consant void that will never be filled.  A nagging pain in the heart that will never be mended. 

Life continues to move forward.  Parents may have other children.  Happiness may appear to be present.  The saddness may not be present on their faces, but it's still there.  It is just buried deep down inside.

The saddness is buried deep but the pain is still on the surface.  The hard swallows to hold back tears are always present.  The feeling of your heart skipping a beat because of the nagging pain, yes it is still there.  The wonder of what his life would have been is always a question that is present.  The pain of losing him is always on the surface....... always.



"There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were." ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

Wyatt Bear

I received a package today, the mail lady pulled into my driveway and hand delivered the priority mail package.  I walked out with Nolan to get the package and questioned the whole way back in who it could be from. 

When I saw the shipping label I got so excited.  It was from Molly Bears, I couldn't believe it! 

I opened the package and lifted the brown fuzzy bear out.  He was weighted.... 3 pounds 13 ounces... just like Wyatt. 

I can't explain what it was like to hold this bear, who I know isn't Wyatt, but it felt so really.  The moment that is, to hold this bear who weighs what Wyatt did at delivery.  What an incredible feeling!!

None of this would have been possible without countless donations and sponsors to this organization. 

A huge thank you to everyone involved.  And many thanks and hugs to my sponsor for making Wyatt bear a reality.